Harlene M. Dela Torre-McIlwain, LMHC

Therapy with Harlene

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About Me

My Approach

My work is integrative and experiential. Rather than working primarily through insight or analysis, we work with what's alive in the room: the body, the image, the feeling, the relational moment between us. The starting point is something simple: learning to turn toward your own experience from a witnessing place, a part of you that can notice what's happening inside without being overtaken by it.This kind of present-moment attention lets us work at just the right pace. Not so cautious that nothing shifts, and not so fast that your system feels overwhelmed. That middle ground is where real change tends to happen.Part of what makes this work feel different is that we don't wander. From early on, we work together to identify a clear focus, not just the surface symptoms, but what lies beneath them. Your symptoms are not the problem to be eliminated. They are the most precise map we have to where the real work needs to happen. We follow them inward.What was shaped earliest and most deeply in us doesn't tend to speak in language. It speaks in sensation, in image, in the kind of knowing your body has before your mind catches up. So we stay with these cues, getting curious about what they're holding and where they came from. They are often the voice of different parts of you: parts that learned to protect you, sometimes at great cost, and parts that carry older pain, that have hidden for good reason, and that are also, somewhere, desperate to be known. Coming to know these parts, to understand what they need, is often where the deepest healing happens.The hope is that over time, as this work takes root, something shifts in how you carry yourself through life. Not just in the therapy room, but in the moments that used to feel unbearable. What we are working toward, and what I have seen become possible, is something steadier and more flexible: the capacity to be moved by life without being swept away by it.

Who I Work With

I offer individual therapy for adults (18+) navigating life transitions, relationship challenges, and long-standing emotional patterns like a harsh inner critic, a persistent sense of not being enough, or the weight of complex childhood experiences.My practice is a genuinely affirming space, and I have a specific commitment to working with people who are often underserved or exhausted by systems not built with them in mind: LGBTQIA+ and queer individuals, BIPOC communities, neurodivergent folks, and people navigating life in marginalized bodies.As a first-generation immigrant whose first language is not English, I bring a particular attentiveness to the power of language itself as a source of implicit learning. I know firsthand that a first tongue holds emotional textures and meanings that don't always survive translation. There are parts of us that were shaped in that first language, that think and feel and remember in it, and for whom English may never quite reach. When those parts speak, we make room.Wherever you're starting from, we move at a pace that fits you.

What I Believe

At the heart of this work is a belief I hold genuinely: that you are already whole. Not untouched by pain, not without struggle, but whole in spite of all of it. Beneath the symptoms, the ways you've learned to cope, and the stories you've been carrying, something has never stopped being whole. It hasn't gone anywhere. It has simply been waiting for the right conditions to emerge.Being well, to me, is what it feels like when we are in contact with that wholeness. A quiet inner knowing that says: I can handle this! That whatever comes, I have enough within me, in my relationships, and in the world around me to meet it.Self-compassion is one of the most crucial ingredients for that knowing to take root: the practice of meeting yourself with honesty and kindness at the same time, especially when that feels hardest. It is what gently tends to what was always there, softening what surrounds it until that wholeness can emerge on its own.

How I Work

My foundational framework is Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB), which offers a way of understanding how relationship, safety, and attuned connection physically shape the brain and nervous system. Within that, I draw from Parts Work and Inner Child Work (informed by IFS), Coherence Therapy (Therapeutic Memory Reconsolidation), somatic and body-centered approaches, and elements of AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy).

Training and Background

My Offerings

Individual Psychotherapy
Rooted in an integrative, experiential approach, our work together draws on Interpersonal Neurobiology, Parts Work, somatic approaches, Coherence Therapy, and elements of AEDP to help you access deeper layers of healing than talk therapy alone can reach.Sessions are available at the following rates:45-minute session: $220
55-minute session: $265
90-minute session: $420 — for more intensive experiential work when the process calls for more time and spaceI accept Aetna and Optum plans (UnitedHealthcare, NYCE, Oxford, and Oscar).
Sliding scale options are also available. Please don't hesitate to ask.Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP)
Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy uses the medicine of ketamine to soften the defenses that can make ordinary therapy feel slow or stuck, opening a window into deeper layers of experience. Ketamine can be used at psycholytic doses, low enough to remain present and engaged in the therapeutic work, or at higher, more psychedelic doses that invite a more expansive inner journey. For those interested, I can also weave IFS-informed and other experiential approaches into the KAP space, bringing a parts-based lens to help make meaning of what arises during and after the experience.All KAP sessions take place virtually. Clients must first be medically cleared through an evaluation with one of the prescribing clinicians I work with.Rate: $800 per three-hour dosing session. This does not include the cost of the medical evaluation or the medicine itself.The preparation and integration sessions that surround each dosing session are psychotherapy sessions and can be billed through your insurance if you are using one of my in-network plans. If you'd like to learn more about what KAP looks like in practice, I'm happy to walk you through the process during a free consultation.

FAQ

Do you accept insurance?
Yes. I currently accept Aetna and Optum plans, which include UnitedHealthcare, NYCE, Oxford, and Oscar. You can verify your coverage directly through https://care.headway.co/providers/harlene-dela-torre-mcilwain?utmsource=pem&utmmedium=directlink&utmcampaign=129759If you don't see your plan listed, I also offer sliding scale options and am happy to talk through what might work for you. Therapy should be accessible, and I'll do my best to help make that possible.What if I have out-of-network benefits?
If you have out-of-network benefits, I can provide a monthly superbill, a detailed receipt of services, that you can submit directly to your insurance provider for possible reimbursement and/or deductible tracking.Any eligible reimbursement is typically sent directly to you by your insurance company. I'm happy to walk you through this process so it feels manageable rather than like more paperwork.What is your cancellation policy?
I ask for at least 48 hours notice for any cancellations or rescheduling requests. Sessions canceled or rescheduled within that window will be billed at the full session fee, as insurance does not typically cover late cancellations or missed appointments.If you haven't arrived or been in touch within 20 minutes of your session start time, I'll consider it a no-show and the session will still be billed in full.I know life happens, and I hold this policy with care rather than rigidity. At the same time, protecting our scheduled time together helps keep the therapeutic space consistent and dependable for both of us.How often will we meet?
For the first few months, I generally recommend meeting weekly. In my experience, this frequency helps build real momentum in the work and gives us the space to develop a strong working relationship, which matters enormously for the kind of deep, experiential work we do together. That said, we will always align on your goals and focus on what feels most pressing and meaningful to you. As things shift, we can revisit the cadence together.What can I expect from our first session?
Our first session is really about getting to know each other. We'll spend time exploring what's bringing you to therapy, what feels most pressing, and what you're hoping for. I'll be listening not just to the content of what you share but to how things show up for you, what feels alive, what feels stuck, and what might want attention first.We'll also talk about how we might work together, and I'll share a bit about my approach so you can get a sense of whether it feels like a fit. Nothing is prescribed or rushed. Everything we do is an invitation, and we move at a pace that feels right for you.Where do sessions take place?
All sessions, both individual psychotherapy and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy, are conducted virtually via a HIPAA compliant telehealth platform. At this time I am only able to see clients who are physically located in New York State at the time of the session.What if I am in crisis or need immediate support?
This website is not monitored around the clock, and I am not able to provide crisis support between sessions. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also reach the New York Safe Options Support line at 1-800-543-3638 for local crisis support.How do I get started?
The best first step is reaching out for a free consultation. This is a chance for us to get a sense of each other, talk about what's bringing you to therapy, and see whether we feel like a good fit. There's no pressure and no commitment. I typically respond within 24 to 48 hours and look forward to hearing from you.

KAP